Eggs! Eggs! Damn all eggs!

This Lord Worplesdon was Florence’s father. He was the old buster who, a few years later, came down to breakfast one morning, lifted the first cover he saw, said ‘Eggs! Eggs! Damn all eggs!’ in an overwrought sort of voice, and instantly legged it for France, never to return to the bosom of the family. This, mind you, being a bit of luck for the bosom of the family, for old Worplesdon had the worst temper in the county.From ‘Jeeves Takes Charge’ (Carry On, Jeeves)

Once again, Wodehouse gets to the nub of human nature. Many is the time that I have felt precisely as old Worplesdon did on this occasion, and I were as oofy a specimen as he, I’d have legged it to France myself long before now. Generally I have to be content with taking my passport with me on the bus-ride  to work.

But shortly, I shall be emulating Worplesdon as I have a ticket to France. I speak little French,  so I expect to experience the same ‘furtive shame’ and ‘shifty, hangdog look’ as Monty Bodkin, practising his French at the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes in The Luck of the Bodkins. With Monty’s assistance, I feel I have mastered Garçon‘ and l’addition, and I shall do my best with:

”Er, garçon, esker-vous avez un spot de l’encre et une piece de papier – note-papier, vouz savez – et une enveloppe et une plume?’

And if, like Monty, I meet a Frenchman wanting to practice his English, who replies with a ‘‘Right ho, m’sieur’ (or, unless I’ve omitted to wax my moustache, ‘madam‘) , I shall hug him like a brother. But after I have acclimatised and relaxed into the French way of life, I shall be speaking French like a pro, and will be muttering ‘Oeufs! Oeufs! Merde tous les oeufs!’ with the best of them

But I can’t sit here chatting to you all day. I have essential pre holiday research to do.

Pre holiday research: French Leave and a bottle of Les Mougeottes
Pre holiday research: French Leave and a bottle of Les Mougeottes

HP

5 thoughts on “Eggs! Eggs! Damn all eggs!

  1. Ken clevenger

    Well, my French can hardly be said to be passable and I have the high school and college grades to prove it, but I do query the “merde tous les oeufs.” “Je condemne les oeufs, tous les oeufs” might be a more polite condemnation of eggs for a peer of the realm to express. Again, I query subject to correction, merci.

    1. Thanks awfully for that Ken. I did suspect that Google translation of letting me down. “Je condemne les oeufs, tous les oeufs” has a better ring to it. I shall commit it to memory and be sure to utter it when I leg it back to England.

  2. Pingback: French Leave | Plumtopia: The world of P.G. Wodehouse

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